Blank it

 the blanketing continued today and I began to see the blank canvas of creativity before me. Suddenly.bones were filled in with fat and muscle and tissue is soon to follow. It's been five month of building the bones of my little home....And now, in my gestation of my dream, it is transforming into something warmer, something with form and heart.

mostly done with giving the loft its blanket!

I poured my heart into what I call stainting....Painting with stain. I loved every second I spent pouring and dripping and wiping and swirling and dabbing and rubbing. What started off as the cheapest piece of 1/4 plywood I could find...Transformed into a priceless one of a kind expression of me.

first layer....a natural teak.

second layer....americana

final touch....jacobean to match the beams.

In this home, I will always.aim to spend time over money and care over speed. As I finished up and looked around at what was before me I realized the magnitude of what it is I have done so far. I have touched every single board, almost every nail, and screw. I have been here every step of the way, and have a story for each of those steps. This house already has so many memories ....And I smile at each and every one.

This process has been a metaphor for life...

Especially my life as of late.

You have a dream and feel the pull so strongly that something in you forces you to act.

You do, 

and sometimes things flow and feel effortless and easy, 

and then sometimes you find yourself overwhelmed and ready to give up.

But you know you can't....

You've invested too much time, you don't want to admit defeat, you don't want to believe them when they say you can't do it or you shouldn't do it (or even that you are doing it wrong).

So even when you are lost and frustrated and can't find the time or energy to continue...

 you just do. 

You take a break and regroup and let it all sink in and eventually you find something small that feels possible that keeps you in motion. And just because of that...That willingness to keep going, suddenly things fall into place again and before you know it that fire is back and you are in the flow and you realized you've learned and can do more than you could when you started...Knowing more than you did, able to do more. Your skills are slowly increasing as well as your confidence.

Then 

you just know....

You just know you can't stop, you won't stop. And each phase of the cycle is a new blank slate. Time for renewed enthusiasm, updated outlook, and new creative solutions and ideas. It's a beautiful thing even if at times it's maddening....

And this little floating home has taught me that there is magic in madness. ;-)