Officially ready to launch!

Today Steve and I finished up jacking up the structure one last time to make sure the trailer can fit. Although I think we will end up bringing it up more soon because I think we should have more clearance than just an inch or two....But, Steve is basing it on measurements and where other boats are currently sitting.

Today we will be able to get a rough estimate of the overall weight of the structure now that everything is in place. We built up two cribs on the right side (starboard) of the structure to raise about an inch or two, then move them to the left side (port) to raise another 3-4 inches to keep it level. Steve has been working with this stuff for so long, that he can tell how many tons he's lifting by how much effort he puts into pumping the jacks.

I built up the cribs myself this time actually enjoying the process of leveling off each dimension.

building the cribs to support the 50 ton jacks

leveling it out

 When we were ready to jack it up I actually had to use my entire body and push my legs against the bottom of the structure in order to get any movement out of the arm on the jack. As Steve cranked on his side at the same time he yelled out he was estimating about 10-11 thousand pounds of weight. YEAH...my estimates for a regular 8x20 tiny home on wheels was about 8,000 pounds and with mine being two feet wider with a deck and the barrel structure support systems below I had hoped around 10k lbs.

My floatation calculations for half buoyancy (meaning that the water level on the structure would be only halfway up the barrels giving me plenty of margin for miscalculations and additional weight due to celebratory parties! ;-) ) was 250 lbs per barrel (and that is in the dense salt water conditions where here we will have brackish waters so it won't be nearly as dense as pure sea water since we will have a mix of fresh river water.).

I have 42 barrels in total.

So 42 barrels at 250 lbs of buoyancy = 10,500 lbs! If I am at 11,000 lbs then I should be very close to that halfway point on the barrels when they put me in the water! YEAH....that was the goal!

The marina is no longer concerned with my ability to float (thank goodness)...only my ability to maintain uprightness due to having the loft and higher ceilings.

I paid my dock fee at $2750 for the season...not the advertised $99 per foot, which for me, is $374 more because they need a few boats to get me to the slip and "all hands" on deck because they are doing something no one has ever done before....we are all adventurers now! lol

I can't get a solid commitment out of the marina management for a launch date because they are still working on other boats and clearing space. I'm crossing my fingers for sometime before next Friday, but for sure before the end of May. If I can swing it I will probably try to do a live launch! If interested I suggest joining my FB group https://www.facebook.com/groups/MyFloatingHome/

back to "balance"

As I was leveling off the cribs I was thinking about being level or "balanced" and still can't quite wrap my head around how humans interpret their own sense of balance in such a seemingly "unbalanced" or unconnected way. 

It seems in most peoples definition of balance, I hear so much about external balances...."I need to relax as much as I work" (clearly a balance our society will never achieve) or "I need to work-out more so I can balance my sitting time at work" (again working out on an even level as sitting at work is impossible without reducing the hours sitting and working). Is balance really about this iconic image:

putting something in one side means also adding to the other side. So, what are those two sides? What do we put in each? Is one side physical and one side mental? But really, don't we as humans in this existence have more than just two sides? But what about emotional/soulful/spiritual? And we could break it down further with social and financial too. 

So it's more something like a wheel (take your own assessment here):

Now where "balance" occurs is when the wheel is full in each slice and can successfully and smoothly ride along in the journey. I like this idea better because you can indeed move forward with a flat tire, but it will be slower and could cause more problems than if you just stopped to take the time to fix it.  I also like that it is more faceted than the "balance" diagram of old.

In the Japanese culture, it is simplified to a state of IKIGAI

learn more about ikigai here

BALANCE, to me, needs to consider all these other aspects of life...and be defined according to our deepest sense of truth within US....NOT external to us....not due to pressure from others and how they think we should be living or "balancing" these areas of our life. ONLY WE know our true internal state...and even if we aren't totally aware of what it is we really want or how to find that balance...we always know what it is we DON'T want and how that affects us. 

Cleaning out what no longer serves

I drift away from the thoughts of balance as I clean up the underside of the structure. 

I am satisfied in a way not many others would relate to as I see the obstructions that once helped further this project along finally take their leave....now they no longer serve and would only impede the progress for the next phase. Kind of like in our everyday lives...how often did something come into our lives that was hugely beneficial at one time, and then suddenly it is no longer needed, no longer beneficial to keep it around. There is often a bitter-sweet moment that we face when letting those things go. Hard to let go sometimes, easy to let go other times. 

As I easily let go of that thought, I move on to assist (mostly watch and learn) Steve trim my deck boards as only a professional will do! Sets the blade at 1 inch uses a straight edge to mark the line and then follows that line expertly. 

So, nice to see things being cleaned up.

I also finally removed the plywood from covering the broken door now that Steve has it all fixed and replaced! Yeah, that beautiful inspiring view that got me through so many rough moments as I finished out the inside is back!

It's as if the glass was never broken as if the fire never was...it's a great thing to fix, to heal, to move on from the ashes. And today, I am so grateful and feeling so satisfied....

now, off to work on other areas of my wheel NOT so I can find "balance"....but simply work on the smoothness of my ride for the next little while.

finishing the inside job

Took some time off for the holidays then had some back to back out of the country work travel, but am refreshed and back at it! Feeling a new excitement for the old task of replacing the floorboards and finishing some odds and ends inside. I like this part because I don't have to wait for or rely on anyone else. Feels good to have that feeling back of working at my pace and knowing what it going on.

(Don't get me wrong I'm super grateful and happy for the professional help, it's just that things feel different when you are working on your own)

finished replacing the burnt floor sections...it's actually better now that it was before!

time to get the window ready for it's replacement

peeling it out was kinda fun...mostly due to the beautiful weather and blue skies!

just about ready for the new one!

did a thorough cleaning and finished trimming out the floor.

feels good, spring cleaning.

everything worked out great.

almost ready to move back in!

i've been framed!

Thankful for thoughtful friends

The place had been sitting there.... Burn marks....debris...half tasks left abandoned....

reflecting the mess I felt in the inside since this all happened. 

It almost felt as if the universe was handing me a direct message that said..."just a little warning...dreaming big in this way isn't the direction you should be going." Crazy but true..I pondered that feeling for a couple weeks until I found myself openly discussing it with myfriend Nannette. She came over to talk...but to my big and pleased surprise she brought gloves and cleaning supplies with her and said she was ready to get to work.

She was a much needed positive boost helping me to remember that this "message" from the universe wasn't a deterrent...but an opportunity. One I may get not realize right way, but one I would see eventually. In an oversight on scheduling  I was needed elsewhere and hadn't done much cleaning. Nanette held down the fort and told me she was just going to hang out and do what she could while I was gone.  By the time I came back...Nanette was gone and so was the chaos and mess inside!

Renewal is what I felt upon seeing the cleanliness and organization....

Deep Friendship is what I understood from this act....

And a new perspective is what I gained....

We build beautiful things in our lives, 

And sometimes we inadvertently damage those things...

The pain from it is always temporary...

And there is always a way to Heal it again...

With some work...

...And quite often a faithful friend by your side

Who understands, relationships aren't only about the Good times...

But in supporting each other through the bad times.

Ten steps back

I debated posting this truth......

a reality that has taken me all week to absorb and see clearly. 

Had a pretty big set back on Saturday after warming up my little home with my stove and having a nice yoga and meditation session just prior to planning my day of tasks... including to make sure my place was safe as well as finally finishing off trim and odds and ends.

I left to watch my kids football game them cruised over to Home Depot to buy a fire extinguisher, a proper ash bucket, and a floor protector to secure the area around my little stove. I also wanted to get some of those logs that clean out the flue and/or a brush so I could make sure there was no build up in the flue and so I could maintain it.

Then, I get the dreaded call from the marina ...

smoke coming out of my little home! 

The firemen have arrived because the marina didn’t have a key to get in.

“NOOOOO, FUUUUUUUCCCKKKK, NO PLEASE NOOOOO!” 

I scream into the phone crying instantly at the thought of all my hard work over the last year going up in flame!

How could this have happened?

I knew the door to the stove was closed when I left...I also knew the stove wasn’t completely cold either. In my haste to leave with a warm to the touch stove did I inadvertently cause this fire!?

How?! 

My mind raced and I went over my morning of ashes overflowing from the door opening. I had cleaned them all up before I left. I did realize there was one ember still glowing but it was small and I pushed it back into the stove securing the door feeling it would slowly and safely simmer out without any fuel nearby.

As my mind raced to find reasons and then switched back to the task at hand ...I focused on getting back to the marina as composed as possible. The drive from Home Depot to the marina was just long enough to help me control the tears enough to be rational, and then I walked onto the marina yard with my head held low.

“Im so sorry!” 

I muttered to one of the guys as I quickly walked passed him and the other onlookers in the yard...thinking of the phone call from earlier and how I didn’t want the marina to lose their trust in me. That I was responsible and trustworthy.

But I hardly believed it myself at the moment.

As soon as I climbed my ladder and saw the men in uniform my heart sank, and the tears began to roll down as I looked where they were looking.


“You are really lucky!” Was their mantra of comfort to me.

It wasn’t what was registering to me..,

LUCK!? 

but this was so unlucky...

What are the chances of having a fire hit your structure anyway? The little home next to mine never experienced this kind of “luck”!

The first thing I noticed was my Anderson sliding glass door completely broken!

 

Glass everywhere!

                                        
Then the octagon kitchen window...and then the floor bubbling up and burnt in one small section a few feet away from the stove.



 Then I noticed a fixed loft window also busted apart.

Seemed like the firemen did way more damage than the fire. 

I guess that was the luck they were talking about.   

The firemen told me they felt strongly the fire was caused by a drill battery discharging too near a drop cloth that had dried paint and chemicals on it...spontaneous combustion....yeah it actually DOES happen!

Notice where the battery and the cloth are..where the fire began

I have to admit, THAT actually made me feel glad...thankful that in their assessment it wasn't due to negligence on my part. It also felt pretty good when the inspector confirmed I had installed the stove properly and it was to code. They were all very kind and very impressed with the work I had done. (The firemen told me more than once how great he thought it was and how he wished he had one!)





Hindsight and time coupled with new perspectives are everything. and I am grateful for the time I had to sit in my sadness and despair and own it....working through the feelings allowed me to let them go within a reasonable amount of time.

                                     
Greg, the owner of Amesbury industrial, told me as much when I came in Saturday after the firemen gave me the clearance to start the cleanup. As I paid for the contractor's bags and the plastic sheets to put over the gaping holes in my home the tears streamed down when he asked me how I was doing. Damned if I was gonna lie, cover up, or not express my truth, and I told him he caught me on a bad day, my little home just caught fire.

He held my hand and told me..."society only wants us to express the joy in our life... But life is filled with sorrow too. You go ahead and be sad, it's ok." With immense gratitude to find such a deep connection with a soft man in a hardware store, I went on to start my cleanup task feeling just a tad better. Somehow that brief moment of connection by sharing my life, my challenges, my truth helped me not feel so alone, and so sad. I mean...it is just a house. My soul longs for connection more than anything the little home in itself could bring me....





It wasn’t till a few days later after I had cleaned up all the glass and boarded up the place and the rains were coming down that I started to feel truly grateful and LUCKY. Realizing I was most likely spared a much worse disaster of myself or someone else getting hurt as well as my and other structures around me being spared.


And so I have yet another opportunity to rebuild.

To try again, to make better, to spiral upward instead of looping, to be grateful for what I have and what I know, and for who I am. An opportunity to lose my ego and leave it behind with the ashes on my floor to face up to the judgment coming....and rise from those very ashes....as a phoenix.



On Monday, my friend Mary was there for me even when her truck wasn't and she lined up her neighbors truck for me to use (thank you Valerie and Brian!) so I could get the place boarded up before the rainstorm on Tuesday.

I am now filled with pure gratitude. And have plans to have it all cleaned up and the floatation finished before December...my path crossed with a master Carpenter who has agreed to a working contract as well as be a mentor me for the rest of the work.

Because I know now....I just can't do this entirely on my own...

we all need each other on our journeys.

And tragedy is often the biggest and best way

 to help us 

learn, 

transform, 

let go 

and 

move 

to a better place.

WITH GRATITUDE

Some interior finishing touches

Starting to ramp up for a bit again before the next round of travel takes me away!

I can't complain about the break...it's nice to just enjoy some time going slow and relaxing these days...but I've had a few projects that were thought out and planned with all the materials that I hadn't executed so....this weekend was the time to get it done.

First I needed to trim out the octogon window ....so I cut out a solid board to cover up the back side of the t111 and hide the edges of the octogon frame. I have more to do...this was just phase one...but still satisfying....stay tuned for the big reveal later on!

before 

after!

Then I and hung my sliding mirror... I found some mini barn door hardware onkine suitable for cabinets it claimed and created a backing for the unused mirror I had lying around. Drilling the holes was the tricky part and I actually did pretty well with it since the hardest was going to cover the places around the holes that looked damages. However, I didn't fare so well when installing the hardware with the mirror. I got three of the four bolts on and was doing good when the fourth bolt broke the camel's back, as they say. Just a tad too much pressure on top of me using a leftover slightly warped board that I glued the mirror to.

drilling the holes

sliding mirror installed!

Oh well, I don't believe in bad luck and it was easily covered by some embellishments....besides I was just so grateful it didn't crack down the middle!!! So I'm happy!

I painted the back so it can be visible when over the window...I think it came out pretty well...even if not perfectly lined up! -wabri-sawbri 😆

the backside of the mirror

view from outside looking in.

Last but not least was finishing my flower power lights that I started back in June! Finally, those are out together and hung...I may add to them more later...but for now...yeah, I get mood lighting with like 16 different colors!

my cozy little corner

the whole put together look so far!

Also prepped the deck with a Power wash and tomorrow plan to slap on the stain to protect it for the next six years! To prep for that, I also did some touch-up paint to clean up the outside where white got on the blue from painting the roof.

deck prep...even after a year it needed the wash!

big white spots are now gone!

All this and I still managed to swim in the river often, ride my bike 🚲 and dinghy down river to the free concert in Newburyport to see the barebacked ladies! Good times! 😁