Sometimes in life we find ourselves in a "loop".
Often we are completely unconscious of it until months or years pass and you realize you are saying or doing the same things over and over again. It could be anything from a simple habit to a major interaction with someone specific.
I thought about this much over the course of priming and painting my little home.
At first layer, it was fun and exciting...covering up the brown T1-11 with a new clean slate of white...feeling a youthful excitement about the possibilities and the creative finishing touches to the project. The fun started to wear off as each width of the repeating board patterns felt the same and started to feel endless. I started to notice how much primer was soaking into the roller then not covering quickly as I had hoped. Suddenly it became a burden I wanted to rush and just be done with.
But, because I can't help myself and because my mantra is very serious to me...."enjoy the journey" I needed to regroup. This project isn't just about "getting it done" it's about finding enjoyment in the process and feeling the pride and joy of actually DOING. And so, with a strong desire to have a fresh change in my perspective, the spray gun entered the scene and I took another look at the task before me and slowed down to enjoy each inch of the process. It wasn't easy at times....my other responsibilities and other joys neglected, but this was MY CHOICE...so I had to be happy with it....and I was...I am.
I realized quickly during each pass of the loop that I had missed so many little things from the previous loop. White streaks and dots showing up in hard to reach places were evident during the second blue coat. Even places where I thought I was being conscious and thorough still had places I missed. Wow, what a huge and obvious life lesson to me! Looping can be a good thing! We need it sometimes to help us cover the things we missed or weren't ready for the first time around. Each pass my technique got better, each pass my focus on troubled spots became clearer, each pass I became more patient, more observant and aware.
In the new joy I found painting the first blue coat and followed by today's second blue coat I realized that the looping in this project (and life) is such a positive thing....IF we are making progress in each pass. And yet, how many times do we loop with no forward progress, feeling stuck?
Prime example (pun intended ;-) ) is a woman down the street. I've watched her for over 18 years rake her driveway almost every day. It started off as a level gravel driveway that at first needed to be smoothed out. However, her seemingly unconscious "looping" has actually caused more damage than benefit after all these years....
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| a snapshot oif years of unconscious "looping" |
Now, there are bumps and valleys where it was flat and hard exposed rock that used to be covered and no sign of gravel any longer. And yet, every day she finds a reason to get out there and incessantly rake that driveway....apparently out of habit (or maybe it's her chosen form of workout!?).
Think of that image as the symbol of looping in a relationship, or a thought process or anything else that doesn't serve you. Well, I thought of that image as I finished off my blue-tiful paint job happily knowing my looping had purpose and brought me to a better place.
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| Glad it's done, but glad it was me that got it done! |
And so I have looked at looping in other areas of my life and have taken appropriate steps to correct them as well. Seeing where it is valuable and helps in progression, and which things just lead to a dead-looping-no-end!
Am I am happy to know that radical desire, awareness accompanied by action will break the cycles and bring out something more constructive....a spiraling upward into the great blue yonder of endless possibilities!
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