painting perceptions

I am SOOOOO TIRED OF PAINTING THE ROOF/JOISTS!

OMG....I have to figure out how to enjoy this part of the journey...but everything hurts....so, I slow down and am grateful to FEEL.

Thank you for the ability to feel tonight....even if not all that pleasant....the good days coming will feel that much better! And so, I am grateful to have something to look forward to as well.

feeling fucking exhausted right now

I have to say, however, in the midst of the pain, I have been able to find appreciation in the opportunity for a second (and third and fourth and fifth) chance.  I am grateful that my technique has improved noticeably and that my efficiency has as well as my confidence and knowledge of the materials I am working with. 

I know sometimes I am intense about things, this has helped me to meter that intensity a bit. It has also helped me to love my intensity...because without it....projects like this would never even get started. 

I see the value of laying it on thick in a counter-intuitive way, as working with this acrylic has shown me. It will build the extra buffer for the security of what lies on the inside. That is the thick skin I need moving forward as I prepare to build the raft and eventually launch it into WATER! I need to be prepared for it not floating....I need to be prepared to redo the entire thing, or possibly invest in a way I hadn't planned. My plans may all get completely changed at that point...and I have to be as flexible as this paint in knowing it is the end result of being on the water that matters....not the exact details in how I get to that point. 

I love this crazy uncomfortable completely liberating process. I feel so lucky to have ventured out on my own to do this, to live it, to learn so much in every area from it and to OWN it!